Windy Waters' Blog!


WW: Meet Mr. Digger, Miss Picker & Polly Pimplepopper

My story starts like this; Mr. Digger pulls up to pump number three at the local gas station. He gets out of his car, reaches down the back of his pants and “digs” in his back side. He digs, digs...yes, that should do it. Now to the grab the “handle” on the gas pump. See where I’m going with this?

Up next to pump number three is Miss Picker. She looks to her left, then to her right. Nobody’s looking, so this classy lady picks that “boogie” that has been bothering her for the last few minutes. She picks, picks until...yes! She has finally gotten it! Out of the car and grabs the pump “handle”.

Along comes the young college girl named Polly Pimplepopper. Polly is waiting on the car to finish at pump number three so, to pass the time, she pops those two new pimples that appeared this morning on her forehead. Polly popped her last pimple just in time for her turn at pump number three.

Pump three is now open, it’s your turn to grab the “handle” and pump your gas. The moral of the story is this: although gas prices at the pump are high, the germ count is much higher. So sanitize after pumping or pushing a shopping cart or using the ATM, Red Box or digging in to that bag of French fries, because you never know what the people before you have been in. Now you can say it; eww gross!

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WW: Rednecks Are Smarter Than Given Credit

Thanksgiving is over as my 8-year old daughter has reminded me; “mommy, it’s time to put up the Christmas tree, come on mommy now!” Okay, okay already. Mr. Waters hauls all of the boxes out of the garage for ME to put up our FAMILY Christmas tree.

Now, understand every year I try to be pro-active for the next year by labeling the boxes but nothing is where it is suppose to be. It takes more than hour to put the tree together (lost instructions years ago) and another 2 hours to untangle the lights, plug in and test the lights then put them on the tree. Finally, time to plug in the lights to see the fruits or lights of my labor only to find out, I have put them on backwards, the plug is at the top of the tree! And you wonder why people drink?

So my thoughts went to Rednecks and how they are getting a bad rap for leaving their Christmas tree & Christmas lights up all-year-round.

Rednecks do this for a reason! Lazy? I say not, smart is more like it. You see THEY don’t have to have the husband pull everything out and put everything back up 30 days later like I have to do. Oh no, and Rednecks don’t have to worry about assembling a tree, testing the lights and all that jazz because, the darn thing is already up! Been working fine all year! So, the next time you think Rednecks are stupid & lazy, think again. I’m thinking, I may just leave MY lights up all-year-round!

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WW: Who Invented Fall Break?

Don’t get me wrong, I happen to love the fact there is a Fall Break holiday, so to speak. This year, I found myself wondering, “Where did the idea for Fall Break start? Who actually gets credit for this?” So, I did what I always do when I have a question:

I used Google.

Google didn’t seem to know either, but I learned that most people give James Brown the credit for inventing “break dancing”. I know this, because that’s what pops up when you search for “inventor of Fall Break”.

I decided after very little thought, “Who cares?” The kids are out of school and I need a vacation! I decided, since it was a holiday about taking a break, that I would do just that… TAKE A BREAK AND DO NOTHING!  Oh, and that nothing needed to take place on a beach. The only rule I had set for myself was the day I had to be back in Froggyland.

The best part of being on a white, sandy beach in Destin, Florida (or any location that involves sun & sand) is being anonymous.  It’s the kind of anonymous that lets you wear a bikini, no matter how much weight you have gained. 

Nobody knows you 12 hours from home.  Just let it all hang out sister!

While I can’t be 100% sure about this, I’m pretty sure a teacher invented Fall Break.  I’m guessing two months at a time is all they can take of our kids without needing a break themselves.  This also helps to explain Thanksgiving Break, Christmas Break and Spring Break.

So, to sum it all up, I don’t care who invented it.  Fall Break gave me the perfect reason spend time with my daughter and to have “my toes in the water… My (insert body part here) in the sand… Not a worry in the world…”
- Windy
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